Fear and Freedom
- Joy
On a fantastic trip to Iceland recently, it seemed to me that the landscape was well and truly alive: steam poured out of the ground in geothermal hotspots; glaciers slowly worked their way down hillsides; and snow melted into numerous waterfalls. Many of the mountains, valleys and lava fields had been relatively recently formed by volcanoes and earthquakes. It was easy to see that the Creator was continuing to paint, sculpt and mould His masterpiece. The same Creator God transforms human lives as well. In fact, when we choose to walk with him, our lives become gradually ‘brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him’ (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Some of that transformation happens in unexpected ‘big bang’ moments during which we are immediately delivered from something which has been flawing or marring our humanity. More often, it seems, God’s work is gradual and it is only when we look back that we can see His fingerprints in the clay. While we often wish He would hurry up or get frustrated with our own lack of ‘progress’ in a particular area, He is often not in so much of a rush and has the patience of an eternal God.
When I was first pregnant, over a year ago now, I was amazed by the undercurrent of fear which plagued the advertising aimed at me as a mum-to-be. Everything would make my baby safer, suggesting he or she would be in danger without it. This opened my eyes to the extent to which fear is used to market many things: from anti-bacterial wipes to car insurance. Maybe I’m aware of it because fear is something I’ve struggled with at various times.
Fear can be paralysing and affect both big and little decisions. It can be specific (fear of man, the future, failure, poverty, loneliness, spiders...) or generic. This is in direct contrast to the way I want to live: where I am free to live adventurously, in love, like Christ, because I am afraid of nothing, no one, and none of the options. Thankfully, bringing freedom from fear is also one of the areas in which I am most aware of the transforming work of Jesus in my life.
On one occasion, a friend prayed with me for the intense nausea which I had experienced continually for the previous ten days (I wasn’t pregnant!). We discovered that it was rooted in fear due to uncertainty about the coming year. As we recognised that and prayed about the future, the nausea instantly disappeared. But there have been other times where I have had to consciously address the issues causing me to fear, choosing daily to trust instead in the ever-present, ever-loving God who is with me ‘even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death’ (Psalm 23:4). God uses community life to transform me too: through prayer and support but also through others challenging my assumptions and decisions. It also becomes more instinctive to expect God to transform me when witnessing His work in others.
I am still a work in progress: I have spent most of this past evening standing on a chair while a mouse ran around my kitchen safe in the knowledge that I was clearly more afraid of him than he was of me! However, I am also becoming gradually more aware that there is One who is even bigger than me, the mouse, and every possible eventuality. I am grateful for His transforming work and that He has plenty of time to accomplish it, even if the speed of change sometimes seems glacial!